What do you want your life to stand for? If you could choose, what would you have your life be about? Did you move in that direction today? There is a Chinese saying, “If we don’t decide where we are going, we’re bound to end up where we are headed.”

My work is about helping people make choices in their lives. Many of us had a sense of what kind of life we would like to lead/create at some point. But sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed and we begin to buy in to the limiting chatter our minds often tell us, we get off course. Rather than making mindful choices about creating the life we want, our lives become about fleeing from fear, sadness, anxiety, etc.

Clients often come in to therapy with the goal of eliminating “depression” or “anxiety”, or other uncomfortable or disturbing thoughts or feelings. Sometimes they say they just want to be “happier.” I too like it when my clients experience the feeling of happiness more in their lives and when feelings like sadness, depression, and anxiety aren’t so ever-present. However, I have more hope than that; I think there is more. I ask those clients, “So, when you die, on your tombstone the one thing you want to have written there is ‘Here lies, Jane/John X – she/he wasn’t depressed.’ Is that really what you want your life to be about, not being depressed?” Through this, we can begin to move down a more hope-filled path. It’s about creating a fuller life that isn’t limited by just getting rid of certain feelings, but rather is about discovering and moving towards valued directions.

I am completely committed to helping my clients identify what they really want to stand for in life and to help them live it. I work with clients to discover which values are of core importance to them, rather than what society, others, or fear says is important. I want to know what is most important to my clients and help them work towards that rather than the more limited goal of symptom reduction.

Imagine what would happen if you could put all of the energy you spend on not feeling a certain way into creating the kind of life that you would like to be remembered for on your tombstone!